So, I admit, I’ve always had a thing for comic book superheroes. I remember being about 6 years old and having a babysitter who was obsessed with Wonder Woman. He even let me read his ginormous Wonder Woman book. I was hooked! Being a nice babysitter and aspiring comic book artist, he actually drew me an amazing Wonder Woman poster that hung on my wall until I was a teenager.
Thing is, I never grew out of my superhero obsession. In my early 20s I was a nanny for a young boy who had the most AMAZING collection of Superman and X-Men comic books. Naughty nanny used to sneak the boy’s comic books and read them during nap time. My own little guilty pleasure.
And I’m still a little gaga for superheros. Batman and his PVC? Yes, please! Wonder Woman and her smexy little arm braces and kick-ass boots? Woohoo!
You can imagine it thrills me right down to my toes to have a real live superhero on my blog today. Ladies and Gents, please welcome today’s very super special guest, a superhero like no other … Shero!
Now Shero, can you please tell my lovely readers what made you decide to become a superhero?
Oh dear girl, don’t you know this power was ordained to be from the beginning of time, when St. Beautific did wave her fabulous wand of lovely over my crib to make me the most lovely of lovelies…Okay, seriously…there is actually a sad tragedy tied up with the realization of my super powers. I’m glad I used waterproof mascara today, because girl it’s about to get wet up in here.
I was in high school, living with the most wonderful, open-minded, supportive parents one could wish for. I came home late one night to find them lying dead in their beds. I had just missed the murderers, who were nothing more than thieves looking for cash to support whatever habit they had developed in their worthless lives. As you can imagine, I was crushed, but when I realized I had just missed the culprits I took off running. It was that moment, amid horrid loss and suffering that my super powers were first unleashed. It took the loss of my mother and father to piece together the final bits that would turn out to become the Shero you all know and lust after.
That is so sad and I’m so sorry to hear it. But I think it’s amazing how you’ve turned that tragedy into something good.
You mean besides my impeccable taste in fashion and my drop-dead smexy looks? Of course. I work a sword like a Victoria’s Secret Angel works a runway. But the other-worldly powers would be my fingernails. With a flick of a finger I can send a nail flying across the air-space between me and my foe. And with the help of my BFF Fiend, I have polishes to not only match every dress and mood, I have polish that can paralyze, poison, nullify super powers, and much more. It may sound lame, but until you’ve felt the fury of the 10 Nails Unleashed, you can just talk to the dress my friend.
Oh, and I can outrun Usain Bolt in three inch heels.
I’m impressed. ‘Cause this girl can’t run in heels. You’ll have to give me some tips later.
Now, every superhero has to have a uniform. You know: Cape, tights, boots. What’s your superhero uniform?
You even have to ask? When I tell you, you will be jealous. And you will be filled with rage knowing the Little Black Dress I don is a one of a kind that can be worn only by me. Are you ready? Are you sure?
My uniform is a Fiend-tastic Kick Ass Black Dress which is bullet proof, blade proof, stretches like elastic, and hugs my curves like a Ferrari. I also have a very special pair of Carlos Santana three-inch heels with the most darling ‘S’ on the back. The shaft of the heel is titanium reinforced, so I can sprint, jump, and land without having to worry about snapping a heel or ankle. Finally, Fiend has worked the same magic she worked on the dress on the sheerest, sexiest hose you can imagine.
So honey, I’m not only superhero’d up, I’m about as drop-dead gorgeous as you can imagine!
Shoo. I am jealous! What’s the biggest bad guy you ever had to face?
Biggest? That’d be Bash. He was HUGE and I don’t mean Porn-star huge. I mean Hulk-huge. The bitch’s muscles had muscles. And to make matters worse, the hooker’s uniform was yanked out of a Curt Kobain nightmare of grunge flannel and grease-stained slathered hair. But that boy could certainly live up to his name. His fist was the size of a canned ham. And you know what they say about big fists …
You went there, didn’t you? Naughty host!
You’re not exactly the kind of superhero the world considers “normal”. (Then again, who is? Not me!) You must, like many of us, face bigotry from small minded people from time to time. How do you deal with it?
I can’t lie to you, it hurts. I bust my tits saving the lives of the same men and woman that would have me burned at the stake for being a transgendered male. I deal with it the same way anyone does – I ignore it. I know the world is filled with hatred, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, and racism. It’s an ugly truth that I hope eventually disappears. But until it does, I will continue being me and letting the comments and the hatred roll off my back.
You’re right about that. Ageism, sizeism … lots of isms and they’re all ugly.
Any words of wisdom for wannabe superheroes out there?
Be yourself. Love your fellow man and make them know you are just being honest with yourself and who you are. And in that honesty, trust in your powers to do good. There is so much big bad out there that will do everything it can to drag you into the ugly muck and mire of darkness. Don’t give in. If you do feel yourself caving, contact me. Join the Society of Super Heroes and help rid the world of ugly.
The world could use a lot less ugly.
I hear our mutual friend, Jack Wallen, is currently penning your latest adventure. Can you tell us a little about it? And when will it be released?
I can tell you it chronicles both of the biggest challenge I have ever faced as well as the happiest moment of my life. The book is called Shero II: Bridesmaids and Zombies. That title alone should clue you in as to what happens. Oh, and that sassy narrator is at his wicked best this time around.
Shero, you are my hero. And frankly, you rock my socks. Thanks so much for taking the time to grace my little blog with your fabulousness. YOU GO GIRL!
How about you, my lovely readers? Who is your favorite superhero? And do you have any questions for our magnificent Shero?
And just because you are all so awesome and I love you, I am going to be gifting three of you with your very own e-book copies of Jack Wallen’s Shero (Thanks to Jack for the generous donation.). Trust me, if you love fun and quirky with a side of superhero, you are gonna LOVE Shero. Just leave a comment below and I’ll randomly select 3 winners and post the names on Friday’s post.
In the meantime, you can find Shero at these fine internet establishments: